Monday, January 26, 2009

Recital Recap

Carson Claire Walker, Age 3.5, doing her "moves" on the front steps of the Rome City Auditorium. January 24, 2009.
WOO HOO! And a happy Monday to you all...right...sarcasm, much?

Anyway, I am happy today to post the pictures (and one short video - go ME, figuring out how to record AND post a video!!!) of Carsie's FIRST ballet recital. We had a crazy day Saturday of playing Candy Land 84,000 times, and doing SEVEN different puzzles and playing "dress up baby and take her to the mall" and Transformers (more than meets the eye!)...this went on for hours. Then we had a 2 pm bath time so that I could do Carson's "ballet" hair. I love girls with pretty "done up" hair. Unfortunately, our household has no such little girls. Carson's hair is WILD and she loves it that way, and will hardly let me pull it back or anything. Plus it's super fine and wispy and all different lengths since it's still growing in (at age 3.5)...but one of the other ballet moms (of a wispy haired one) told me to do the ponytail bun while her hair was wet, and to put a little gel in it to cement it. It was GORGEOUS. I did really well. Pat me on the back, whydoncha, because I'm a good mom, but I'm not as good as MY mom who actually fixed our hair with matching barrettes (sometimes ones that she'd made herself with coordinating ribbons, etc.

Anyway, after rushing around with two wet naked preschoolers (I know, good times, right?) and FINALLY getting out the door at 3:15 (Carson was supposed to be downtown at the Auditorium at 3:30 and it takes exactly 15 minutes with no traffic and no parking issues (of which we had both, of course... so we were kind of in the back with seating, but it was ok, in the end. And Carson did so wonderful and looked so beautiful. These pictures are kind of in reverse order, because that's how Blogger chooses to upload, like, everything - backwards...(rolling eyes here)...and it's a pain in the tookus to rearrange them - so I'll just "narrate for you" -


This is Cole and Pop (my dad) outside the Rome City Auditorium. Cole was proud of his sister. This is me with my little ballerina. I look a little odd - but we were standing on the steps and Carson was tired, etc. Too cute, though. Note the awesome bun (There are stringy pieces hanging out, yes - wispies, we call them - but all in all it still looked great - and this is about 2.5 hours AFTER I put it up, so it held up pretty well!!!)
Carsie with her little pink carnations Grandmomma brought (there were a TON of other flowers that are now in vases all over my home - she LOVES them!)


These next few are from the actual performance, I couldn't use "flash photography" and we were mostly towards the back of the theater, so they're a little blurry, but you get the idea. Carson is the one on the left in this photo, next to Lily - the only other 3 year old in the class (most of the other girls are 4, 5 and almost 6...)


Here she is again, second from the right (That's Lily on the far right...they were kind of off in their own world, but it was adorable...)



My grandmother brought little dumbbells for them because we've started lifting weights in the morning together - it's a story for another post, another time - but this was before the recital - my tough weight lifting boy. (They're 1 lb. weights ;))


And Cole is an aspiring photographer. He was DYING to take a picture with my new camera (be still, my heart!) and he DID take this one...and it turned out pretty nice, I think - except for my crazy-lady bugging eyes, but still.




And here's a VERY short video of the performance. Too cute...you can hear the music. Carson is the second from the right...

video


Alright - that's it for today - I have trial calendars and probation revocations and all kinds of fun things to take care of today...ack. I'm out. I have no questions - but please leave me a comment and tell me how GREAT Carson did!!!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I'm a loser baby...

Yep. Another song title...BECK. I'm not REALLY a loser, of course. But, I feel like one - It's THURSDAY and even though I've had a lot of appointments with clients, talked to a lot of people on the phone and sent a lot of emails over the last 3 days, why haven't I worked anything out yet? Weird...

I have probate court in the morning. Tomorrow is FRIDAY (thank you!!!) - I am hoping to make a short trip to the jail tomorrow after probate court, but before lunch. Unlikely, but still worth hope...Carson's dress rehearsal for her ballet recital is tomorrow afternoon at 5:30, and then friends are coming over to eat chili and cornbread. WOO HOO! I love stay-at-home dates on Fridays. Then Saturday is THE BIG DAY - the recital!!! We have a whole entourage of folks coming to the recital - so it should be fun, fun, fun...and the kids are so excited. Be prepared for pictures on Monday! Of chili night, and the recital!

I am really a loser because I have nothing fun to say today. Sorry. Please forgive me. Also, if you want Follies 2009 tickets, please email me at jenniferjoywalker@gmail.com or call me! They are $15/adult or $5/child - Friday, February 6 and Saturday, February 7 @ 8pm. Fun times!

Random questions -
1. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV, is it different than what you like to watch in person?

2. On average, how many text messages do you send a day? Do you mostly text the same few people?

3. How in the world is one full-time-working-mommy to two preschoolers supposed to keep her house clean and the clothes washed (and put away), and still manage to do things like bake cookies with her kids and have people over for dinner? (if you can give a real feasible answer to this one, I will PAY you...)

Monday, January 19, 2009

Happy MLK Day! (And Ava Jane Day!)

This is what we are doing today - the kids are at my office with me - currently shooting staples and rubberbands at each other (Lord, help me...) - they have been really good - but it's now lunchtime - and this is my new (made-up) knitted hat - I look goofy in it, but the hat itself is not to blame...Here's Cole...
And the lovely Carson - with her Daddy Dead-Eye Stare...no smiles here...
My sister's baby shower was this weekend. She's having a girl - and her name is...


And here she is herself! With me, the sister - Sadie will be here any day and we're SO SO SO excited!



Today is the celebration of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday - but it's ALSO my dear dear sweet little friend Ava Jane's birthday!!! SHE IS FOUR! Four ROCKS, by the way - and tomorrow is her little brother Henry's birthday - he will be 2. (Two, while also being a cool age, is not as great as FOUR, in my opinion, but he's halfway there ;)

I'm still in the throes of house-selling-negotiations. ARGH! I'm about to lose my mind! I really have hope that it's going to work out, but I just want to KNOW already so I can start making plans if I'm going to be moving here in the next two weeks. I'm really super excellent at "going with the flow" and "rolling with it", "playing it by ear" and all that stuff, you know, even "flying by the seat of my pants"...and this is thanks to a lot of practice over the last two or three years of things popping up unexpectedly and me having to deal with these wrenches thrown into my life.

However, this time - I'm anxious and ready to get on with it. Maybe we'll have a contract by the end of the week...please, dear Lord. Have mercy on my weak heart...

Again, I'm at my office today. Yes, it's a holiday. But, I have arraignments tomorrow and a couple people that wanted to plead and I just wanted to look at my calendar and figure it out for now...so the kids are here with me and just spent a record almost 2 hours in the conference room at my office doing puzzles. Good good children. Thank you, universe, for cosmically aligning so that my kids are in a good and helpful mood today.

After lunch in town with the chicklets, we're headed to my friend Tricia's for a MLK party (tee hehe) - actually, no disrespect to Dr. King, but we're just painting our toenails and gossiping while the kids play and run wild and watch TV (which is very exciting because we have no TV - a situation that will hopefully change soon if we move!)...good times.

Carsie's ballet recital, entitled "Footsteps in Faith" is this Saturday. She's SO excited, the dress rehearsal is Friday afternoon...my whole family and her daddy and his family are all coming up to see her perform! WOO HOO!

I think that's all I got. I can't be funny or witty today because I'm wrestling children and trying to keep them from throwing staples at each other and from drawing on my walls with assorted colors of highlighters...and because I'm mentally distracted with the house negotiations.

Have a good MLK DAY!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Let's get it started...Let's get it started in here...

I have that song in my head (funny how a lot of my blog post titles have been song lyrics. How unoriginal of me...) - but today I have that song in my head because A) it's FRIDAY!!!! and I'm ready to get the weekend started and B) We got an offer on our house yesterday (I'd woo hoo but it was an insanely low offer) and we countered today, and I'm really really really hoping we can just get on with the show and get this thing not only STARTED but OVER....already....

Random thoughts:
Cole has asked me for the last 3 days to buy him hair gel or mousse. ??? Yesterday it went like this:
C: "Mom, is that stuff boys put in their hair called 'moose'"
J: Yeah, bud, it's "Mousse", but not like the animal moose, it's just called "mousse"...because it's got a creamy texture.*
C: Mom, can you get me some mousse at Wal-Mart?
J: Maybe (which is mom-code for NO...), why do you think you need mousse? You are handsome already and you have great hair.
C: BECAUSE, Mom, Will says mousse makes your hair stick up. I want my hair to stick up. PLEEEAAAASEEE????

* This was said, as if my 4-year-old could "hear" the difference in the spelling of "moose" and "mousse" and also as if he had the contextual knowledge to understand WHY the creamy texture inspiring word was derived from the French. Silly Mommy.

I still haven't figured out which Will he was talking about. He has two little friends at school named Will (Will Terry and Will Hester) and then we have another "grown-up" friend named Will...so you know, who knows?

I'm sucking it up and going to buy a new camera today. Be prepared.

I'm sort of confused about the 3-day weekend. I don't know if I have MLK Jr. day off or not...but kids are out of school...so...hmmmm....? I do know I'm planning to knock off early today because I spent yesterday morning working on a ton of arraignment cases that want to plead, and yesterday afternoon preparing for one big fat meth lab trial, so I did a LOT yesterday, and the stress of the house stuff is making me INSANE...

My sister's baby (Sadie Layne) is due to arrive in like 2-4 weeks. Oh. My. Her baby shower is tomorrow - so I gotta go make a cheeseball and finish Sadie's present and all...and it's MOVIE NIGHT at our house. My kids want pizza. I want Chinese in the WORST way. It's been months and months since I had good Chinese. So, maybe I'll order it take-out and get the pizza and then stop by on the way back...hmmm.

Here's some randomness you can answer for me:
1) What is some random fact about your childhood that a lot of people don't know about?

2) If money were not a factor, and you didn't HAVE to work, how would you spend your days?

3) Who is the most difficult person you've had to work with and why?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Slap Happy Anxiety - and it's Tuesday...




Tuesday...why you gotta be so cruel...

So, here we are at Tuesday again - my hella day. I just got a girl outta jail, though, and it's only 9:18 am. So far, so good. Now, I need a babysitter...for after ballet, and during my JSL meeting. *sigh* My regular (fabulous) babysitter Brittany is sick...(like the other 75% of Floyd County) - and I'm feelin' kinda desparate.

Anyway, this post (fair warning) is going to be scattered. I have not heard from my real estate agent yet about whether we have an offer, but you can bet your cute little tooshie that I will update as soon as I hear anything. Because of the crazy anxiety I have related to how my life is (slightly) out of control and overwhelming, and adding in that it's a typical insane-in-the-membrane Tuesday, it's no wonder I'm scattered.

So, Britt sent the pictures from our crazy grown-up slumber party. We always, always play Celebrity...(sort of a hybrid of charades and some drinking game)...here are some of the highlights...



First - here's me trying on my 70% completed knitted hat. Sorta looks like a crown o' thorns (actually knitting needles...)
This is me being Ricky Bobby, in Talledega Nights (SHAKE 'N' BAKE, baby!) - because I was trying to get them to guess "Will Ferrell" - for the record, it worked.






I have no idea what this is - but it looks fun...?

As Britt said, not all the pictures were very flattering (DUH! - look at these!) but it was VERY FUN, and because they weren't all flattering, I refrained from posting the other girls...just because I don't care if *I* look like an idiot on the internet doesn't mean I should post pictures of THEM looking like idiots! ;)

Love and Sunshine this Tuesday. I am out of questions currently - but if you have something to tell me, by all means, leave a comment.

Monday, January 12, 2009

OK - so it's totally Monday, but for the first time in a long time, I do NOT have a bad case of the "Mondays" - though there's time yet, it's only 11am, I'm being optimistic.

Part of the reason for my lack of Monday-madness is A) my trial calendar cases were all disposed of on Thursday. (WOO HOO!) and B) I had a fabulously refreshing weekend full of people I enjoy and C) I AM ANTICIPATING AN OFFER ON THE HOUSE THAT HAS BEEN FOR SALE FOR 16 MONTHS!!!

My weekend was fabulous (thank you for asking)...despite that it got started a little late (we had some hitch-ups in getting to Alabama, because C & C's daddy was working late, but it was all ok...in the end...) and the kids wanted Sonic (yeah, I know...) but I obliged, and got a JUMBO POPCORN CHICKEN combo with tots and a Sprite for them. (Nothing for me, I was waiting to get something to eat for the way back, since I was picking up food for a friend.) On the way back, I call my friend Will (because we had plans to watch LOST, Season 2) and ask him what he wants me to pick up. "Um, how about Sonic?" Sure, no prob... "I want a JUMBO POPCORN CHICKEN combo, with tots & a Sprite." No problem. Get back to Sonic (the SAME Sonic) and order stuff. Same delivery/car-hop girl. "HEY! You're back again! What happened to the first JUMBO POPCORN CHICKEN combo? With tots & a Sprite?" Uh, well, it's for a different person... Anyway, LOST was great, and I had a nice time with Will.

Then Saturday AM, I got up and straightened up the already-Yolanda-cleaned house and headed out to Sewanee, Tennessee (Monteagle) to visit my bestest oldest gal pals from college. Oh, my. We DO get into trouble together. I'm hoping Britt will send me the photos so I can post some (hint, hint, BB, I know you're reading this...) - and I LOVE LOVE LOVED meeting and hanging with our newest initiate to the crazy group, Lindsay (or Lindsey?)...fun times, girls. I'd do the retarded Cher impression, but I can't figure out how to type it. And YES, we have to go back in the Spring for hiking and hanging @ Shenanigan's!!! And, hopefully, hopefully, I will have a new place to have a slumber party, too, soon!!!

Which leads me to the sale of my house. Please, please, please, Lord. I think the months and months of praying and petitioning by me and my friends and their friends is finally finally starting to work. Some folks have come to look at our house (Twice. and brought their parents back for an ok from them...) and we just did a new disclosure for them and they've asked a TON of questions and I'm anticipating an offer anytime.

So, this wasn't a totally exciting post; updates as they come on our house situation, ok?

Thursday, January 8, 2009

I got Two Turntables...and a MICROPHONE...

Arbitrary title. I just have this song stuck in my head - because it came from an earlier thought at about 7:30 a.m. - the thought in my head went something like this:
"I got 4 felonies and 11 misdemeanors...and it ain't all that bad." (OK, so, in fact, I would never, ever, in a million years, have a thought with the word "ain't" in it because, well, it's just bad grammar...but I took some creative license...)
Anyway, that led to the "I got two turntables and a microphone!" song. And now, it's stuck in my head, but of course the only part of the song I can remember is that exact phrase...no other lyrics are popping up. I should Google that, for real!

The 4 felonies and 11 misdemeanors turned out all either pleading guilty or getting dismissed! WOO HOO!!! - No trials next week...which makes me feel so much less guilty about taking a tiny little road trip one state north to visit my Mercer homies for an adult slumber party!!! It's my Alpha Gam buddies - Melissa, Brittany & Lisa (dear sweet little sis...) - and my non-sorority related, but bruddah from anodah muddah, Sooz - was supposed to come, but she's actually killed her back and can't make it. Boo on that.

Funny picture of me at the Junior Service League Christmas Party:

Courtesy of my friend Kay. Thanks, Kay. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm in Jennifer Bagby's hallway. I think I must be practicing my moves for our upcoming FOLLIES 2009 show!!!

Speaking of which, here's a little shameless plug. Follies is a broadway-esque type show that JSL puts on in odd-numbered years to raise money for our various causes. It will take place Feb. 6 and 7 at 8 p.m. at the Rome City Auditorium. Tickets are $15, general admission; $5 children 12 and under; and $50 patron ticket. All the proceeds this year will benefit the Hospitality House, Harbor House and The Sexual Assault Center of Rome. For ticket and show information, see http://www.follies2009.com/ or call 706-238-8261.

I HAVE TICKETS FOR SALE IF ANYONE WANTS SOME!!! Come see me and all the other jr. leaguers be silly on stage! It's an excellent party, too - good times, right here in River City!

(Shameless plug is over now, unglaze your eyes and start paying attention again!)

So - today is Yolanda day. WE LOVE YOLANDA DAY!!! (For the non-faithful readers, Yolanda (a.k.a. Yo-ho-ho & a bottle of rum - my endearing nickname for her...)) is my house-cleaner.) I so cannot afford Yolanda right now. At $80 a pop, it's a major splurge - but on the other hand, who ELSE is going to scrub my toilets willingly? And, honestly? I don't know how other working-single-mommies get their house to stay clean. Particularly adding in furry friends and sticky juice boxes. And tonight my Rome beeeotches are coming over for dinner. With wine. What good friends.

Here are some silly questions - come on, entertain me! It's almost FRIDAY!!!

1. Is there anyone from your past that you wish you could get back in touch with, or at least just find with Google to see what s/he is up to? WHO???

2. What was your favorite Saturday AM cartoon (or whatever TV show) as a child?

3. Tell me the thing that last made you laugh. Like a real hard belly laugh!!!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Typical Tuesday Tirade!

Tuesdays, for me anyway, are always rough. Here's why:
1. They follow (typically) craptastic Mondays.
2. I generally have court on Wednesdays and Thursdays, so Tuesday is the day to hit it hard (as my Crazy Auntie Julie told me - "Head down, Bum up, Get stuck into it!") - I work really hard on Tuesdays at work.
3. AFTER working so hard, we have ballet at 5:30 - so I have to bust on outta here to get the chickadees at Berry and bust it back downtown to ballet. And in the middle of all that somewhere, I have to get a 3-year-old into tights and a leotard. Fun.**

And today, THIS Tuesday, I have to say - the rain is getting me down, man. Makes me want to sing a sad, sad song. It's been raining for TWO weeks. And, according to Hometown Headlines (which is where I get all my local news when I don't buy the paper - i.e., on Monday/Roman Record Day ;) ) - there's been 3.03 inches of rainfall here in Floyd County over the last 13 hours. Seems that we're already way ahead on rainfall for the year, so it can just stop now.

OK - so now that I'm over the Tuesday rant...well, sort of, let me just say that I'm SO glad Monday is OVER. I still have a ton of things to do - but despite staying up too too late last night, I bounced out of the bed at 6:15 (ok, I did hit the snooze once, so 6:25...) and everyone got dressed and we were out the door at 7:10! WOO HOO. On time. For once. With shoes and coats and blankets. Of course - the shoes were not actually ON their feet - so when we got to preschool, I had to stand (in the pouring torrential rain) and put on socks and shoes while the kids were still in their seats...so I'm soaked. And cold. Alas, it was still a victory in my eyes.

I have an ad sales meeting today at lunch with my junior service league folks. I'm sucking eggs at selling ads this year, and while I did try, I just didn't sell what I wanted. Boo. Honestly, I got myself in over my head (as usual!) and this is why one of my resolutions is to start saying "No." more often - without apology. I can't do EVERYTHING. Even if I want to. Then, after my lunch meeting, I have a trial calendar meeting with opposing counsel (prosecutors) at 2 pm. Then on to ballet.

Speaking of ballet - Carson's recital is this month! YAY! She's really excited, a little about the dancing part, but more because I told her I'd let her wear some lipstick. *rolling eyes* Such a girl.

Tomorrow I have court in the morning, lunch meeting, court in the afternoon - and I HAVE to go to the grocery store after that because I'm making dinner for some friends (Rock it, RLC) on Thursday...and I have to get stuff for that and for a cheeseball and homemade salsa that I need for Saturday.

Thursday is my big trial calendar. Then, the girly girls are coming over for dinner (and wine!) and I'm going to pack up the kids' suitcases to visit their Daddy-O. Friday - sweet, sweet, sweet Friday - I don't have court - but I do have a lunch date with a fellow lawyer-mommy to discuss a minor civil matter I'm helping with for my sister. And then I'll head to Alabama - and this, this is the best part of the week - when I get back to Rome, I'm spending the WHOLE EVENING watching LOST Season 2. With my friend Will!!! And some good food and most likely a beer or two.

And then, on Saturday - I'm headed to Tennessee to visit my best college buds. WOO HOO! Good times, probably a LOT of good food (and drink ;) ) - and board games & celebrity. This is why I need to make the cheeseball and the salsa Thursday night. *sigh* So, I gotta work hard the rest of the week, so I can enjoy lovely lovely lovely friends Friday & Saturday!

OK - so how's that for a pointless blog post?!?!? Oh, one more thing: you should all check out my other Crazy Aunt, Carol - she does awesome art - and has a great new art blog that you should check out by clicking here.

And, just to spice up Tuesday, here are some random questions:
1. If you could be doing anything other than what you're doing right now, what would you be doing?

2. What is your morning routine? Do you eat breakfast, and if so, what do you normally eat?

3. What are you looking forward to in the immediate future? (i.e. weekend plans, upcoming vacation, etc.)

Monday, January 5, 2009

Monday is Winning...dangit.

HALF TIME SCORE:
Monday - 2
J.J. - 0

Yep. Monday is kicking my tail. I had grand plans to get my trial calendar in order this morning. I have about 13 cases (which is light, I must say) on the calendar for Thursday. Now, that's not to say that all 13 of them will be tried...most of them will enter guilty pleas, but a few may be tried, after all.

Of course, I got to the office and discovered that I'm supposed to be in Cave Spring City Court (which, for non-Roman locals, is kinda in the BOONIES and way the other direction from the part of the BOONIES that I live in, and I do live in the boonies...but I live on the East of B.F.E. and Cave Spring is way on the other side of B.F.E.) So, of course you're wondering "So the heck what, J...you have court - get on out there!" Well, the problem is that it's at FIVE O'CLOCK P.M. and, well, I have to pick up my children in ARMUCHEE (@ Berry College) by 5:30 (and again, for what it's worth - that's a whole other world, too...) or they'll call DFACS on this momma's tail. Not only that, but like, I'm wearing jeans and cowboy boots (with a cute cotton blazer, I'll have you know) today because...I'm not SUPPOSED to have court.

To make a very very very long story somewhat less long, I spent ALL morning trying to get either A) someone else to cover my hearing B) find someone to tend my children for a few hours while I handled this matter OR (and this is the best option) C) get the durn case continued to the next Cave Spring City Court calendar. In the end, the gracious judge continued it for me.

The problem NOW is that my client lives in Alabama. He apparently showed up in Cave Spring at 9am, thinking that his hearing was then (for what it's worth, it's a DUI/driving on the wrong side of the road case) and now I can't get in touch with him because - there's no cell number, etc. on the application for a public defender. And his "home" number is apparently out of order, or not working, or whatever - "This number cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the number and try again." Grrrrr...

And I haven't even GLANCED at the trial calendar today!!! HELP! I'm losing my mind (well, assuming I had one to begin with, of course...)

I forsee a few beers in my future after the chicklets are down for the night...Tomorrow - Tuesday - I'll kick tail, right? There's always tomorrow...

Friday, January 2, 2009

Random Thoughts on a Friday

AND THANK GOD FOR FRIDAY!!! Though I have to say, I bought the local newspaper today, as I am occassionally prone to do, at Panera Bread, got to my office and was PISSED that the Roman Record had been nicked out of my paper. To those of you who live in Rome, you are fully aware of the importance of the Roman Record. For those of you from elsewhere (bless your hearts!), let me tell you about the Roman Record. Once a week, the Rome News-Tribune (enlightening work of journalism that it is...excuse me while I snort coffee out my nose at that...) publishes an "insert", if you will, to the regular daily paper. This insert contains all sorts of nuggets of imperative community information, including a community calendar, self-help groups available and their meeting times, etc. But more important, it contains vital (VITAL, I tell you) info about who was arrested over the weekend & the alleged offenses, marriage licenses, divorces, babies birthed, property sales, civil judgments, etc. In other words, it's the local gossip all summed up in one place. Printed in black and white for posterity, and everything.

Now, all of this to say, people take their Roman Record readings VERY seriously around here. Your feelings on the Roman Record will firmly place you in one of two camps. Camp One: You read it without fail weekly, and call and congratulate people on their new baby or new property. (Side note: generally, people won't call and congratulate you on your arrest...or your divorce, though it has been known to happen...more on that in a minute.) Camp Two: You (and when I say "you", I mean "me") pretend not to be concerned with such minor things as local community gossip. You are grown and important and have so many Better and More Productive Things to Do than read the gossip rag. This is true even though you (meaning me) only buy the paper once a week on Roman Record day, and hole up in your office (with the door closed) and pore over it from cover to cover, getting your hands all inky in the process...and then pretend you didn't know about your 3 friends getting arrested at 3am last Saturday for drunk and disorderly conduct. Instead, you (again, I mean "me") just wait for them to call you for your stellar legal advice and act Oh So Surprised! to hear about their misfortune and "Yes, those cops are retards! Arresting a man just because he had to pee so bad he couldn't wait to get 2 blocks down and had to relieve himself right there in the street...I mean, really. Come on. That sounds like perfectly appropriate (not to mention LEGAL) behavior to me!!!"

OK - so now you know about the Roman Record. One more minor story re: the Roman Record. I have only had two occassions in which the names in the Roman Record personally affected me. One was related to someone very close to me who was arrested, who I bonded out, and I was rather embarrassed about the whole situation. However, no one called or mentioned anything about said name (which will remain withheld) after the Roman Record was published that week. (Thank GOD for small miracles.) The other time I had personal ties to the Roman Record was when my very own name appeared in it. It was clearly published - "Jennifer Joy Walker" under the "Divorces" headline. Right there in black and white. And of course, that was the ONE WEEK that I didn't pore over the Roman Record (in my office with the door closed), because, likely, I was in court or tending a sick preschooler or, you know, handling some detail of my daily life doing something else that was equally, nay MORE important, than wasting 3o minutes on random Rome gossip. However, and this is the kicker, so be prepared: PEOPLE CALLED ME TO SAY "Hey, I saw your name in the Roman Record!" - these are clearly Camp One folks. Clearly. Um, what exactly is the proper salutation for a new divorcee? "Congrats" doesn't seem to work, however "I'm so sorry" at that point wasn't really appropriate anymore either. It's not something to celebrate or mourn over. It just "is what it is." Weird.

I think that was one of the first times after The Big Split that I actually felt like - you know, I am ok. Really, really, REALLY, ok. No worries, man. (And, fyi, faithful readers, this was many many months ago, I just got elaborate on it today because of the incident with the Roman Record that occurred at Panera.)

OK - so back to this morning. I arrive at my desk. Coffee - check. Bagel & cream cheese - check. Email - check. OK, open the paper, New Year's Babies on the front page...awwww, How about the weather? (It's raining. And cold.) OH - I should check the Roman Record!!! But - NO!!!! SO TOTALLY UNFAIR - someone nicked my Roman Record out of this paper...but wait. The Roman Record? Today is Monday, right? Monday is when the Roman Record is published...and you know, it is Monday, isn't it? No? It's not Monday? Hmmm, I was off yesterday - seems like Monday...oh, but it's Friday. Duh. There's no Roman Record on Friday. I'll just have to wait for my gossip a few more days...

EDITED TO ADD THIS *VERY RANDOM* NOTE: To the Rome, GA, visitor that views my site between 5:30 and 6 am most days...you are a dedicated and faithful reader, seeing as you come so EARLY in the mornings ;) Thank you. You must be responsible and go to bed on time and stuff...unlike me, because I, unlike you, am lucky if I get me & my two short people out the door on time, WITH SHOES ON US ALL, and actually make it to the gas station, Berry, and the office with no major incidents involving bleeding, SuperGlue or small fires. If, by chance, I do make it to work (with the coffee and the Roman Record) without any such incidents, I pat myself on the back.