Thursday, February 26, 2009

A Song for Thursday

If you live in Rome...(which, despite my gripes, truly is the land of Milk & Honey for me...)...then you will identify with the current rage I feel when driving on the bypass (at rush hour) or on Martha Berry Blvd. between the post office and N. 5th Avenue. And, chances are, if you ever go downtown (and particularly if you WORK downtown), you have had a run-in with the lovely folks at the Downtown Development Authority or the Rome City Police, who (I swear) must get a huge kick out of writing those parking tickets. (For the record, I've had 7 parking tickets - after 2 prior warnings, in the last 10 months. Oops.)...INSANITY.

(If you DON'T live in Rome, then you will just have to believe me when I say, traffic sucks.)

So, in my frustration after being (ONE MINUTE) late to pick up the children thanks to some sort of river cleanup they're doing off the bridge over by State Mutual Stadium, I made up a little song about my issues. I feel much better having gotten this out - and if only I could actually sing, or play some would be very entertaining.

Without further ado, an Ode to the Streets of Rome, GA:

(In an "up" tempo - think 80s Pop tune...Girls-just-wanna-have-fun-ish)

((Verse 1))
Monday morning - I got a case in Court...
Gettin' kids ready's an Olympic sport.
Finally all dressed & strapped into the car,
Get on the road, but hey - we don't get FAR!

Oh, HECK - what is this that I see?
A crane on the bridge, and gosh - is that a TREE?
Get past Rome High and the traffic slows,
Traffic on the bypass really blows....

oh, oh - traffic on the bypass,
you know it really chaps my ((bleep))...
yeah, you know that traffic on the bypass
ain't no way out, no way to get there fast...

((Verse 2))
Finally get through, drop the kids at school,
Hit a ton of red lights, but didn't break any rules,
Rushing into court, not a minute to spare,
'Course I get there...and my client's NOT THERE!!!

There's now an order for his rearrest..
Don't blame me, man, I tried my best!!!
This happens a lot, so I try not to sweat it...
Get back to my car - Crap! A PARKING TICKET!?!?

Oh, oh, parking on Broad Street,
Sometimes they just got you beat...
Two hours, are you kidding me?
Gotta take out a loan just to pay my fees...

oh - yeah

((Verse 3))

OK - folks - there is in fact a verse 3 having to do with Martha Berry traffic/construction, but you'll have to wait at least another day. I have to go move my car before I get a(nother) ticket.

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