Thursday, October 30, 2008

Memos to Folks, Note to Self (subtitle..."Bite Me")

MEMO TO THE SHORT PEOPLE THAT LIVE IN MY HOUSE
Small children, of course I love you, of course I do. I am your mother. But, at some point you are going to have to realize that A) I am bigger than you; B) I am smarter than you; C) I make the rules; and D) no matter what, you WILL follow the rules...which include 1) no throwing in the house; 2) no playing with doors; 3) no hitting your sibling; and 4) YOU MUST SLEEP IN YOUR OWN BED.

MEMO TO THE PRE-K PARENTS AT BERRY
There are parking spaces. Use them. If you park perpindicular to the parking spaces, in the drive (even if you leave your car running), then you are blocking in those of us that chose to follow the rules and park in the parking spaces. That means that I go from already being 20 minutes late to work to being 25 or 30 minutes late to work. And I blame it all on you. If, by chance, all the available parking spaces are full - just freakin' park in the grass - don't block me in. One of these days I'm going to "forget" to look in my rearview mirror and smack your cute little Pathfinder or Volvo or whatever it is you drive.

Thank you! - See you at the field trip tomorrow!

MEMO TO CERTAIN PEOPLE
Stop trying to bully me. It's not fair.

MEMO TO ALL THE MALES IN THE LEGAL AND LAW ENFORCEMENT PROFESSION
(Particularly ones in Rome, GA)
I am a girl. I will always be a girl. I am different from you. But - that doesn't mean I'm not as smart as you or that I don't have the cahones to cross examine a witness to within an inch of his/her life. We will always always always have different practice styles, as do all lawyers. It's not personal. It's my job. Zealous representation of my clients. I'm really not a bulldog or a beee-otch. I'm a nice girl - with a law degreen.

NOTES TO SELF
If you don't actually turn the washing machine ON, nothing gets washed.
If you don't wash any clothes, it's no wonder the children don't have clean socks.
You cleaned out the garage so you could park in it.
If you don't park in the garage, you waste a good 15 minutes and probably 1/2 gallon of gas warming up the car enough to defrost the windshield.
Hence, you should park in the garage.
You are the only female criminal defense attorney in this circuit (though there are a few others that pop up from other places from time to time...) - you love the guys you work with and against, but at some point you just need to suck it up. Boys are stupid.
Tell your girlfriends and your family that you appreciate them more often. They are the best. Really....

4 comments:

  1. I thought of you, Stacie, when I typed it...of course. Miss you, too!

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  2. I like the idea of a monthly memo like this we should keep this up. and I agree with all of it and I am sorry but breaking kids of the bed habit is worse than potty training in my book!

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  3. PS Julie and I will help you clean out a path in the garage....

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